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Rabbyt
Mon Nov 30 2009, 11:44PM


Steam Alias: [BONG]Rabbyt
Class: Heavy
Posts: 969
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lol, i would have just pricked it with a sterilized needle when it started taking some serious shaping. so i let the puss leak out, and then rub some antibiotic ointment in (like neosporin), let it absorb for a while, and then put a big pack of ice on it for a while.

the ice would take away most of the pain, and would slow down the blood flow (as well as any swelling from this thing), and then after a few hours your body would be ready to finish fighting off the infection with help from that ointment







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ProfessorJerk
Mon Nov 30 2009, 11:52PM


Steam Alias: Same as here (usually)
Class: Pyro
Posts: 1756
Liked 21 times in 5 posts

Timeth Quet wrote ...

I once had the runs while on vacation in Disney Land with my family, my sisters friend and Danny. My sister, her friend and my mother shared a room and my father, Danny and I shared one but they were joint rooms. Our room's bathroom was in use and I was about to blow, so I went into my sisters bathroom, pulled my pants down but was unfortunately a half second late, mis aimed and shit ALL over their wall next to the toilet. I then blamed it on my sister and to this day no one, except Danny really knows what happened.


I had something similar happen just a few weeks ago. The first morning after a pretty serious three or four day bender, I walked a friend of mine to the 6 train. I stopped and Dunkin Donuts on the way home, and realized that I had to shit while they were making my coffee. It wasn't anywhere near being an immediate thing at that point, so I started walking home. About a black down from Dunkin Donuts, it was painful enough that I was running... two blocks later, it was so close to slipping out that I could only shuffle along really slowly, pinching my asshole shut all the while. The second I was in my front door, I tore my pants off and made a bee-line to the toilet... I made it to the hall outside of our bathroom before shit just started dropping out of my asshole onto the floor. Thank Crom for hardwood.

Also:

Rabbyt wrote ...

the ice would take away most of the pain


I went with Percocet instead of ice... I fucking love excuses.







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JoInfo
Tue Dec 01 2009, 12:52AM


Steam Alias: [BONG] JoInfo
Class: Pyro
Posts: 959
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Sorry for the delay. Dr. Joseph is now in his office. Machinefist, if you'll kindly bend over and point that chapped sphinkter in my direction that would be great. Ok. Mmmmhmm.

Ok, friend, I'll write you out a subscription for 1 stick of Chap Stick and 1 homosexual for application purposes. Just pretend the Chap Stick is a 2 and a half inch little Irish dingaling, and take it like a man.

Should clear up in 2-4 days. Trust me I've had it before myself.







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Noonan
Tue Dec 01 2009, 01:07AM


Steam Alias: [BONG] Noonan
Class: Medic
Posts: 460
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It was a dark and cold Thursday night and Jo and I were in the mood. We starting goin' at it and the next thing you know, I'm tied up on my back with my legs in a harness behind Jo's trailer! He leaves for a second and comes back wearing tight black lycra chaps and a scalpel in his hand. He started mumbling something then starting making tiny incisions all over my body! After the 4th or so cut, he slapped me with his free hand and invaded my butt. He continued to cut me in different places as he pounded me. As he got close to finishing, he ran his hands across my now extremely bloody body and proceeded to jack off all over me with the blood. After that, he called me a bitch, licked off some of the bloody semen, and spat it in my mouth. Upon tasting that, I immediately came all over Jo.


And then we cuddled and fell asleep together. The next morning I made waffles and I met Jo's wife.

Are there rules to posting things? I guess I'll find out. Not going to be surprised if this is gone in the morning.







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Sir Osis
Tue Dec 01 2009, 07:45AM


Steam Alias: Sir Osis of Liver
Class: Engineer
Posts: 752
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Machinefist, as I'm sure you know, there are few places that are more vile tan a van carrying dudes that are on the last few shows of a US tour.

Two years ago, we were finishing the last leg of a tour, five or six shows left if I remember correctly. We had just finished up in St. Augustine, Florida and were driving through the night to Columbia, South Carolina. Billy was completely gone before we even took the stage, and after we finished up, he sort of just disappeared. The rest of us hung out with fans and a few friends. The two Chrises and Ryan didn't drink too hard, but there was a kid buying me shots, and who was I to turn him down? I sort of blacked out at one point. The guys loaded me up in the van somewhere around 3 am and headed on our merry way. I woke up to find that my bottom was uncomfortably wet, so I made the mistake of checking out the situation. Billy had apparently beat me in passing out, and vomited all over the back seat of the van, where I was now laying, covered in vomit. In what was one of the most slapsticky reactions I've ever had, I started to violently vomit, all over my self. You know a day is going to be good when you're covered in one half in a friend's vomit, and on the other, your own.







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JoInfo
Tue Dec 01 2009, 09:55AM


Steam Alias: [BONG] JoInfo
Class: Pyro
Posts: 959
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Dear Noonan,

I *heart* you.

Love, Jo







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khamir-ubitch
Tue Dec 01 2009, 10:43AM



Steam Alias: [BonG] Dr. KhAmiR M.D.
Class: Medic
Posts: 3985
Liked 253 times in 114 posts

One day I was smoking and was pretty ubered. Well, the cat was in between my girl and I and he gets up to stretch. I kinda karate chopped him in the back of his legs (just playing a round as a joke) and I guess it startled him because he twiched and I felt droplets land on my hand, arm and face.

I looked and it looked like the stuff you find in a shrimp vein. It was dark and kinda poopy lookin. After realizing that I quite literally "Scared the shit out of the cat" I smelled what is to this day the most vile smell I had smelled in quite some time.

It smelled like musky shit. Oh my GOD it was horrible. The worst part was that I realized what it was, where it came from and noticed that I had some on my bottom lip and just above my upper lip.

I started to gag and in doing so, it caused me to get really spacey (kinda like if you get up really fast, breathe in and out super hard many times...etc). I stumbled to the bathroom and started to hork in the tub because the room was spinning and I couldn't "aim" for the toilet.

I turned on the shower and clothes on and everything started to rinse off. Well, I had turned on the hot water by accident and didn't realize it before it was too late.

I eventually got everything worked out. This all transpired in the timeframe of about 15 seconds and my poor wife was like "what the fuck just happened??". In conclusion, don't scare cats with their ass glands pointed to you. It turned out that "shit" was secretion from the anal glands.

Fucking gross.

-k









[ Edited Tue Dec 01 2009, 10:45AM ]
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colonoscopy
Tue Dec 01 2009, 12:49PM


Steam Alias: coIonoscopy
Class: Heavy
Posts: 654
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I would contribute, but you guys already know I'm absolutely disgusting.







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Caboose
Tue Dec 01 2009, 01:48PM


Steam Alias: [BONG] Caboose
Class: Medic
Posts: 770
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Well, nothing like your guys stories were about me but customers at work.

1 day this kid must've had the shits or something because we had to block off the end of 3 aisles that exited into the center aisles because of the shit. And people kept trying to walk through still while some were cleaning it.

Another incident, I got to work and people kept smelling this really bad smell in the back. I asked what was going on and there was 2 skids in the back when one of the managers told me look on them and so I did I said "looks like spaghetti sauce.?" she said its puke. I lol'd. Apparently some guy was in the center aisle (where all our incidents happen it seems) threw up all over the gatorade and another skid. Since I didn't smell any of it as in my mind I had it blocked and was imagining the vomit as spaghetti sauce as thats how it looked at the time.









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ProfessorJerk
Tue Dec 01 2009, 02:10PM


Steam Alias: Same as here (usually)
Class: Pyro
Posts: 1756
Liked 21 times in 5 posts

I love this server community.







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